Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Speak Up and Be Heard: Every Woman's Guide




Give voice to what you know to be true, and do not be afraid of being disliked or exiled. I think that's the hard work of standing up for what you see. --Eve Ensler 

Women have an innate talent for speaking. It’s ingrained in our DNA. However, years of indoctrination have kept us quiet. It is still difficult for many women to speak loud, clear, and effective.  From house wife to CEO, communication must be assertive. We must be able to express our feelings, ask for what we need, and display the blueprint of how we want it.

How do we learn? What do we need to be heard?

1.       Inner work: Everything begins with us. Do some honest Q&A. Where is the problem? Are there any old beliefs or habits getting on your way? Are there any fears? Work with your self-esteem. If you feel you can’t do it on your own, don’t be afraid of asking for some help. We all need somebody.

2.       Pay attention: Be aware of the way you interact with others. How do you react? Do you tend to stay quiet? Do you tend to give up too quick? Do you have problems when facing challenging views? Know yourself.

3.       Personal image counts: Get in the habit of taking care of your body. Remember that only 10% of communication is verbal. We speak with our bodies. Stand straight and firm. Always look people in the eye, the portal to the soul. Find the right tone of voice; not too low, not too high.

4.       Ask but do not beg. It’s not about “could I” but about “I need.”

5.       Learn how to use your yes's and no's. There’s no need to explain yourself to others all the time.

6.       Bring the “I am” alive. I've learned this is a powerful phrase. By saying I am we empower ourselves, stating who we are and what we already have in the present.

7.       Stop criticizing others. Deal with situations but do not make it personal. Always respect other people’s feelings just the same way you would like yours to be respected.

8.       Be yourself. Don’t fake it. You don’t have to be what you are not. Live and live fully. Find delight in the woman you are.

9.       Rehearse your life out. Life is a story. We are in charge of characters and plots. Write your lines and practice your scripts.

Effective communication is not aggressive. We can turn the world around with a smile and a steadfast, resolute voice. Get in touch with your DNA. Once you develop your voice, you’ll never be hushed again. It’s time to own your personal power.


Thursday, January 22, 2015

Drop it like is Hot! 6 Things Women Need to Stop Doing


As part of my teaching duties, I review literature pieces from all periods. Yesterday I stumped into Don Juan, a Spanish noble and medieval writer. Among his many short stories there’s one where he details the life of this rebel woman and why her defiant character makes her a great candidate not to ever get married since no man would be able to tame her as she should. We must consider that all this happens during the 1300’s. However it made me think about those behaviors women still exhibit these days which in many cases get in the way of us being happy, fulfilled, and satisfied with our status as women.

Here is my list of the things I believe we should drop in order to celebrate our womanhood, set an example for future generations, and improve our lifestyle in this lifetime.

1.     Overachieving
There’s so much we can do and we should not try to do it all and do it at once. It is perfectly fine to do our best with what we have and when we can.

2.     Changing just to please other
If there’s something I've learned over the years is that people learn to love you the way you are. In trying to change to make others happy we are denying them from the person they fell in love in the first place and denying ourselves from whom we really are. Get rid of the mask!

3.     Saying Yes when we want to say no
There’s nothing wrong with saying no when that’s the answer we want to give. We need to learn to say yes to ourselves first. People will not get offended when they realize you care and love yourself. Expressing your truth is setting an example for others.

4.     Criticizing our deeds
I believe in intuition and I also believe we are bad at following it. Learning to follow your instincts is the first step in getting to know the amazing you. Stop blaming yourself for everything you do. If it feels good to you, follow through. As long as you harm none, there’s no harm to regret.

5.     Dreaming about Mr. Right
Let’s face it, there’ no such thing in the same way Mrs. Right is an illusion. We all have our flaws and guess what, that’s what makes us unique. Instead, why not learning to see more of the good instead of focusing on the bad, why not working out our differences, why not giving more time to what makes us stronger instead of that which divides us. Perfect objects are ordered in catalogs and still they are not perfect. 

6.     Hiding our sexuality
Sex is sacred. Maybe when we begin looking at it this way we would stop feeling guilty about expressing it. John Maxwell Taylor, author of Eros Ascending: The Life Transforming Power of Sacred Sexuality, once said: “Finding heaven while still on earth is one thing. What do we do with it once we've got it?  Sacred sex is finding that heaven. Learning to enjoy it without any shame is expressing the best of us.

We have come a long way. We have been through hell and back. There are some things still to be done. We stand as a promise for the future and I believe this generation is waiting on us to be fully awakened and fulfill that promise.


Sunday, January 11, 2015

Are You a Life is A Bitch Kind of Person?


“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”
~ Carlos CastaƱeda~

My life is a mud hole. Nothing goes right. I have no hope. What am I doing this or that, in the end I’ll die? These are the thoughts of the lifelong pessimist, those who manage to see the worst in every situation. I call them the “love to be victims” type. They feed themselves with dark thoughts trying to get some sympathy from others or worse, living from other people charity while dwelling in their self-created agony.

Facts:

1.       Life is not meant to be peaches and cream all the time. How are we to learn in a never-ending pool of roses?

2.       There’s no stairway to heaven unless you build it. It would be great to have it all planned and done for us. Truth is we must work hard for the life we want to create. Dream and take action.

3.       Learning how to own yourself taking care of all your needs is the first step to healthy living, giving, and receiving. Don’t expect others to give if you don’t have anything to share in return; be this love, happiness, or time.

4.       It’s not about the ME but about the purpose. We all have or think we have an unchangeable personality. After so many years, we have grown to like who we are the way we are. Personalities change and they should. Attachment to old patterns does nothing but hurting and getting in the way of what might be. If the core belief of your personality is that life is unfair and you stay stuck there you will not be able to see the broad spectrum of possibilities in store for you.

5.       Victimized thinking always leads to fatigue and low performance; bad mood and unhappiness.

6.        Victims are only victims of their own defeated thinking.


Yes, we will all move on from this earthly life but, wouldn't it be better to make it worthy and exciting knowing that we did the best we could with what we had while it lasted taking pride and joy in the process? 

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Adultery by Paulo Coelho

AdulteryAdultery by Paulo Coelho
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Another great story by Paulo Coehlo. Real life down to earth characters struggling to find the meaning of life; a mirror of what we all go through day by day. The amazing story of Linda makes us ponder and question. What's life's ultimate purpose? What force moves us? What is it that we should all strive for?

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